Amir and Hassan are able to have a much closer relationship than Rafi and Ahmed because of Baba's approval of their friendship and his fondness for Amir. Unlike Rafi and Ahmed, Amir and Hassan were raised together, sharing the brotherhood of being nursed by the same woman, as well. Also, the leader-follower dynamic was different between the two, Amir leading and Hassan following in the Kite Runner and Ahmed leading in the film. Yet the relationships were also strikingly similar. Both involved friends of different societal classes, which was clearly against societal norms. When wealthy Pashtun friends came over to Baba's house, Amir did not play with Hassan, and Rafi's father disapproved of his son's friendship for this reason. Class relationships are clearly a significant aspect of Afghan life that is less evident in America, though it is certainly present. The friends learn from each other, playing together but gaining deeper meaning as well. In both friendships the friends of the lower class, Ahmed and Hassan, change their wealthier friends' views on the world, simply in their personalities. Hassan's genuine, non-violent nature shows Amir goodness, and he encourages his friend to pursue a writing career, unlike his father. As stated above, Ahmed changes Rafi by encouraging him to be bolder, more audacious, and to pursue his loves. He makes him tougher.
Both are coming of age stories, exemplifying rather abrupt transitions from innocence to experience. This probably happens quite often in a country so full of harm, since 1980. In Kite Runner, we see the rape of Hassan changing the lives of both boys. Amir is filled with abundant guilt and sorrow. Hassan is traumatized. This single event polarizes the boys, and changes the courses of their lives. They are transformed. The rape forces upon them the development of thicker skin, response to emotions that most adultis don't experience. This may have been part of the reason for Amir's disappointing reactions. He is not meant to experience something so traumatizing at such a young age. The death of Ahmed has a similar effect on Rafi. This leads him to grow, to become tougher and stronger. He decides to live in Ahmed's image, to carry out his will in light of his death. Rafi forms more of an identity for himself after, a critical step in maturity and adulthood.
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